forty-five

This past weekend our little Ben made a new friend in a gorgeous newborn baby girl named Kate. Her parents, Jason and Joy Latek, who made Kate’s appearance possible some 9 months ago (go Jason!), were thoroughly excited at her arrival as they looked squarely in the cute, cuddly face of a future defined by a loss of sleep, sanity, and cleanliness. While I personally think that Kate will make things comparatively easy for her new parents, I do not envy the task Jason faces with his little butterfly, especially when she someday starts to think about using those wings. As a father of a very boyish boy, I can’t imagine what it must be like raising a real, live young female. Although I understand a thing or two about being the protector of my wife and child, I’d imagine protecting your little girl is a task that falls somewhere along a different line. Especially when she gets to be about sixteen or so.

Or as Jason would have it, forty-five.


Our wives thought it would be cool if the two of our respective progeny someday fell in love and got married. Jason and I, of course, are completely against the idea. Jason, because he doesn’t ever want to have any knowledge of his girl being on top of another boy unless you’re talking about their respective academic standing, and Me, because I don’t want any chicks distracting Ben from becoming the greatest major league baseball player in the history of time. Then again, if Kate wants to wait until they’re in their 40’s when Ben’s Hall of Fame career winds to a close (and if her father offers a sufficient dowry), maybe I’ll give it my blessing.

But in the mean time, newborn Latek parents, if you need any help keeping your daughter safe, I'm sure Bigger Ben will rush to her side. As will we.

And welcome, Kate. We love you and we’re very glad to have you. Keep your legs closed.