purple people-eater

Quick: what has two teeth, no hair, jelly-rolls, a grin as big as a house and drools profusely?

I’ll give you one hint, he weighs over 21 pounds, he’s never resisted a single fruit or vegetable (although recently, due to what we think may be an allergic reaction, he might enjoy the great fortune of never having to eat zucchini again), he cries during dinner because you’re just not feeding him fast enough, and then cries again after dinner because you stopped feeding him even though he’s finished the whole bowl of cereal, the whole jar of mixed vegetables, the whole container of baby-yogurt, a half bottle of formula, a half container of baby-crackers, a side of soup or salad, a loaf of bread, the spoon, your fingers and the left side of the refrigerator (Sometimes I wonder why I'm the one who’s gaining all the weight in this family when I clearly spend less time feeding than either of my housemates).

If you still can’t guess who I'm talking about, go home and get some sleep because, like my wife, you really need it. I love you honey, and you know I still love you while you’re walking around the house bumping into things and talking to the paint on the walls, but why don't you let me take Ben for a bit while you go chase some sheep?

PS: All those wonerful souls who post replies to my entries from now on will recieve a gift package in the mail worth over 100 dollars! And I promise it won't contain twice-used baby clothes that The Ben has quickly grown out of. . .